Don’t Feel Bad if Someone Calls You Selfish, Experts Say it Could Actually be a Good Thing

We’ve often been told that selfishness is a trait associated with evil. Someone who has a good soul can never be selfish, right? The society has put so much focus on selflessness that we sometimes lose ourselves while doing good for others.

Shutterstock — We sometimes lose ourselves while doing good for others 

Selfishness is often synonymous with other not-so-positive terms like self-centered, self-serving, self-absorbed, and so on. All of these terms have an extremely unpleasant undertone to them and calling someone ‘selfish’ is often considered offensive and hurtful.

But the next time someone calls you this word, you should thank them because some psychologists see it as a compliment. They say selfish people are the happiest and that’s for a good reason. Putting yourself before others isn’t something you should feel bad about. On the contrary, it is something to be proud of!

Bob Rosen, author of the bestselling book Grounded: How Leaders Stay Rooted in an Uncertain World, says that you can’t take care of others if you’re not taking care of yourself first.

Safety manuals on airplanes always instruct passengers to put on their own oxygen masks before helping others in case of an emergency, and this doesn’t just apply to air travel.

Shutterstock — Safety manuals on airplanes always instruct passengers to put on their own oxygen masks before helping others 

How many times do you find yourself bending over backwards to make others happy when you don’t spend enough time to truly be happy with yourself?

Being selfish doesn’t mean that you’re egotistical or mean towards others. It can simply mean saying ‘no’ to your boss when asked to work overtime or politely declining an invitation because you’d much rather be curling up on your sofa, watching Netflix or reading a book.

Self-care is key to mental wellbeing which is why we must learn to embrace the positive aspect of selfishness instead of seeing it as a negative trait. Happiness starts with putting your needs before everyone else’s so that we can be more open and capable of helping others in the long run.

 Self-focus can mean putting other things on hold while you focus on your physical, mental, and emotional health. When we’re not a hundred percent, we unconsciously tend to pass our sufferings onto others which can erode our relationships over time.

Shutterstock — When we’re not a hundred percent, we unconsciously tend to pass our sufferings onto others

You must have heard the saying, ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup.’ This applies to our personal well-being as well because if we’re feeling run down, we can’t really be much use to anyone else. So the next time you are craving some ‘me time’, don’t think of it as being selfish.